Herpes positive couples dating

The question you should be asking is not “Why should I date someone with herpes?” It’s “Do I want to date someone for who they are?It’s human nature to think it, and to wonder, and to actively make the decision. But in asking me this question, an actual person with herpes, you are shaming and insulting me in the name of needing help deciding.

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It’s far more fun to be the loud, controversial and brilliant Kanye West of herpes.

I have little to no interest in being with someone who doesn’t think I’m worth getting herpes from. If you are not willing to brave the risk of getting herpes, you are not worth my time.

And I still do think that if you have a valid health condition that herpes would complicate, you’re a gentleman and a scholar and I wish you the best of luck.

But too often my impulse to capitulate to people who stems from a desire to seem chill. At the end of the day, STI stigma is a form of prejudice.

Sometimes the question is esoteric, about whether or not he truly knew this woman in the first place. You’ve never given herpes any serious thought before and here I am, a woman with herpes and a blog, who has so generously spilled her guts to the Internet about what it’s like.

And sometimes it’s the classic entitled bullshit I face on Twitter all the time: I’m not a jerk for dumping someone who poses a risk to my health, right? It’s just a simple question to you: should I date this person, yes or no?Genital Herpes is surprisingly common, yet most people who have it don’t even know it.When you are first diagnosed with Genital Herpes, you may think that your dating life is over and worry that you might spread herpes to your partners and loved ones. If you have been recently diagnosed with genital herpes, you may be upset and confused and think your sex life is over.Here’s another pet peeve of my email inbox: when a man (because it’s almost always a man) asks me if he should continue seeing this woman he’s been dating who just told him she has herpes.Sometimes the question is data-based, about what transmission statistics are real. When you ask me questions about if you should date someone with herpes, I know you’re looking for an expert opinion.To you it may seem reasonable, a matter of self-preservation. If you let someone’s herpes define who they are as a person and the role they will or won’t play in your life, you have reduced them to their STI status alone.

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